The unreported side effects of Covid19

It’s been well over a year since we first heard about this new and dangerous virus called Covid19. 

Over a year since we were told that it could kill us all. 

What they didn’t warn us, was that even if we never even meet someone who has had Covid, we will still end up feeling as though we have been hit by a truck, mentally and physically.

The mental fatigue is intense. 

And the guilt is intense. 

Because why, if we don’t have the virus, or have anyone around us who has suffered or died from it, should we feel anything but grateful?

Living in Melbourne I’ve been through lockdown after lockdown. And they suck.

The masks suck. The rules suck. The impact on businesses and kids’ schooling sucks massively.

But at least we don’t have hospitals packed with Covid victims. At least we haven’t lost millions to the disease.

That’s the reassurance. 

But is it?

Because there are lies everywhere and it’s impossible to know what’s true and what’s not. What’s being reported correctly and what’s not. 

And THAT uncertainty on TOP of the uncertainty of the next lockdown, the next impact on everyone’s business, education and sanity is what is wringing us out to dry.  It's left me feeling like my brain has flown out the window..... 'bye bye brain'.

I’m actually envious of people who have made a solid decision on what they do and don’t believe because it reduces the uncertainty in their lives - even if  just a little bit. Yes they may have anger - but I really feel anger is easier to deal with than uncertainty. 

The impact that this is having on my business and my health is so strange to observe.

I can preface every statement with ‘I’m lucky because I have…..’ and that might be ‘an online business’ or ‘legs and arms that work well’. 

But then I add ‘but my motivation levels are so low because planning seems fruitless’ or ‘my body aches and is exhausted more than makes sense’.

And I hear my inner voice finishing it up with ‘but remember, you’re still lucky’. Which I know I am.

So the cycle of fatigue and guilt continues.

When will it end? Who knows. Some people say ‘when everyone is vaccinated’ and others say ‘it won’t because these are just the first steps in population control’ and here I am again with ‘I genuinely don’t bloody know.’

And the cycle of fatigue and guilt continues.

There is no grand insight in this post.

No tips or ideas.

Because I feel washed out and lacking. 

But I thought maybe, just maybe, others are feeling the same way, and together we can virtually hear each other and stand with each other in this complete and utter uncertainty. 

We can remind each other of the good things we have control over. Of the micro steps we can take each day to move forward with goals and ambitions.

Of the love and support we have for each other.

To ease the cycle of fatigue and guilt and maybe, just maybe, replace it with some hope and understanding.

I'd love your thoughts and insights on this topic, so please comment so we can get more conversation happening around this. Thanks in advance!